The Struggles of Being a Teenager
by Wise Ravenclaw
Summary: Being a high school senior is pretty hard. How can it be any harder? You'd be suprised. In his last year of high school, Shiro just can't catch a break. Neither can his best friend, Matt. At times, graduating seems impossible and the future seems bleak. But is it? Who knows?
1. The Fork

**Author's Note: Guess who's back. Sorry it's been so long. Life has just been complete hell, but summer vacation has started. One of my friends got me into Voltron, so here's a new fic. I'll try to update some other stuff later on. Hope you life slowburn, fluff, and angst. Lots of angst. Chapter 1 takes place around late November.**

 **Ages: Shiro-17, Matt-17, Pidge/Katie-10, Keith-12**

 **Shiro's POV:**

"Keith, c'mon. Mrs. Holt will be here in 20 minutes.

"Don't wanna."

"I know it's hard, but we need to be strong."

Keith sits up. "I miss them."

"Me too, buddy. Hmmm…I have an idea. If you get ready for school quickly, I'll put a special surprise in your lunch box."

Keith's face lights up and he nods rapidly. I take that as a cue to start packing his lunch.

After I put an apple, a yogurt, and some cookies in Keith's lunchbox, he comes running down.

"I got the juice." He offers, proceeding to pour some orange juice into an empty water bottle. We hear the phone ring. "I got it." He says before running off.

I pull out a paper and Sharpee and write " _Have a great day. Do your best_ _?_ _"_ before putting it neatly on top of his food."

"Mrs. Holt is here."

"Shi-dang. Earlier than normal. You got your stuff ready?"

"Nope." Keith says confidently.

"Get them?" He nods before disappearing.

 _Knock Knock…Knock Knock Knock_

I recognize that knock anywhere. I open the door and Matt comes in.

"Need a hand, Takashi?"

"A whole arm, actually." The room's now filled with awkward silence. "But if you're willing to grab my backpack, that'd be great."

"Sure thing." He says before heading upstairs.

Matt returns a few moments later with Keith, who is now ready. We put on our shoes, grab some fruit, and head to the car where Mrs. Holt is waiting with Katie.

"Why so much earlier today, Matt?" I ask. Mrs. Holt normally is here around 7:00, but today she's here at 6:45.

"Mr. Iverson needs me at school early to hang up posters."

"Sucks to be you. Also, cross me off the list?"

"Already did. You're not donating blood on my watch considering you just lost an arm 3 weeks ago. Protip: Don't run a blood drive if you value your sanity."

"Thanks, buddy."

 **Matt's POV:**

No more backing out. Today's the day I'm going to tell him.

"…Matt? Matt? Earth to Matt are you there?"

"Huh?"

"We're here. C'mon. Your posters won't hang themselves."

"True."

"Bye kids. Have fun at school."

"Bye mom."

"Bye Mrs. Holt."

Katie, Keith, Shiro, and I enter Garrison Academy before Keith and Katie part ways with us.

"Morning, officer." Shiro and I say together before going through the metal detector and getting our bags scanned.

"Mr. Holt, what is in your bag?"

"That could be referring to a lot of things depending on whether it's in my backpack or lunchbox."

"Lunchbox."

I start rummaging through. "It's a fork."

"You know the rules. I'm going to have to confiscate that."

I sigh and hand over my fork while Shiro is trying and failing to suppress his laughter.

Shiro and I go to sign in before parting ways.

(8 hours later)

 _Ring_

"C'mon. Let's go find the little gremlins." I suggest, referring to our siblings.

We walk to find our siblings and to the bus stop in silence. I open Pokémon Go to look like I'm doing something.

"Matt!" Shiro yells and pulls me close to him. "You almost walked into that pole."

"Thanks, buddy."

"No problem."

I keep distracting myself with Pokémon Go for most of the bus ride. Keith and Katie are sitting towards the back with the crowd of middle schoolers.

"Hey, Shiro, can we talk?"

"Sure. About what?"

This is it. Now or never.

"I know you can't donate considering what happened, but do you think you'd be willing to help out with running the drive? It's a lot of work for one person."

Fuck. I am an idiot.

"Sure. Just tell me what to do and I'll try to help. By the way, the posters are great."

"Thanks." I chuckle. "Donating blood is as easy as pie."

"With a picture of a pie."

"I still think we should've had Dracula on the posters."

"That'd be great, but would it help get people to sign up? Maybe Edward Cullen."

"Nope."

"Just messing with you."

"Shiro, Matt, it's our stop!" Katie and Keith yell at us. The 4 of us get off the bus and walk until we have to part ways.

"Call me if you need anything."

"Ok, Matt. See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

Keith and Shiro then start to go home as Katie and I head in the opposite direction.

 _Ring Ring Ring_

I pick up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey Matt. Any chance you could pick up supplies for the project? I emailed you a list of things."

"Sure thing, dad. Just gotta drop off Katie. See you in about an hour." I say before hanging up.

"What'd dad want?"

"He needs me to pick up some stuff…Secret stuff."

"I like secret stuff. What kind of secret stuff?"

I can't let Katie know or else she'll ruin the surprise. "Dirt." I lie.

"Gross. Don't make me be involved with it."

"Sure thing." I unlock the door. "Start your homework and I'll be back in 20 minutes."

"Ok, bro." She closes the door.

(5 hours later)

"Think it's good?" I ask while repressing a yawn.

"I think so. We can double check sometime when we have more energy to be sure. We have about 4 weeks, so there's plenty of time."

"Good."

"Now head to bed, son." I nod and go up to my room. I quickly check my phone, throw on pajamas, and hop into bed.

 _Man, I really messed up today. Why do I have to be such a coward?_

 **Author's Note: I'm sorry this isn't as good as my normal level of writing, but I haven't written in over 2 months. Give it a few chapters and the quality will go up. Reviews help motivate me. If there's any confusion, let me know and I will clarify stuff in author's notes. Thanks, Satan for BETAing chapter 1.**


	2. Confessions on Public Transportation

**Author's Note: Who wants angst? You're getting angst and lots of it. Also, italicized text is a dream, bold and italicized text is a phone ringtone. This is around the end of November/early December. I wrote the first half yesterday and the second half today. Yesterday in the author's note I said angst. Now I say, let's dive deep into the complicated mind of Matthew Holt.**

 **Trigger Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, drunk driving, car accidents, and blood.**

 **Matt's POV:**

 _"_ _Next on the ice, from the United States is World Champion, Matthew Holt. He will be skating to Core from Undertale."_ _I make my way to the center of the rink. All eyes are on me._

 _The music starts up and I start moving rhythmically. I start off with a triple axel, double toe loop combination. The chorus starts and I do a sit spin._

 ** _"_** ** _Pokemon! Gotta catch em all!"_**

 _This isn't my normal music._

 ** _"_** ** _Oh you're my best friend in a world we must defend."_**

It was just a dream. Except for the phone ringing at who even knows what time it is. Shiro's calling.

"Hello?" The other end is silent for a moment. "Shiro? You there? What's up?"

"Not much." He says. He's trying to act calm and casual, but his voice cracked, which usually only happens when he's sick, scared, or lying. If it's not the first two scenarios, it's kind of cute and funny.

"Cut the crap. I know something's up. Why else would you call at…" I check the time. "3:32 am? Also you did that voice crack thing you do when you lie."

"Is it that obvious? I had _the_ nightmare again." The fact that he referred to it as _the_ nightmare rather than _a_ nightmare tells me what it was about. Ever since the accident a few weeks ago, he's had the same nightmare practically every other night.

"Wanna talk about it?" I offer. I hop out of bed to put in earbuds so I don't wake the rest of the family and I sneak downstairs to get a snack. Talking sometimes takes awhile.

"There was so much blood, Matt. I don't remember everything that happened, but there was so much blood. It's not fair. My parents are gone. Keith finally had a stable family for a few years and it's gone. We were going out to pick up some decoration and a cake, to surprise him. Since it had been 5 years since he was adopted into the family."

"Shiro-" I try to say something but he's not done yet.

"That's not even the worse part. The guy responsible, he got out without any major injuries and with just a bit of jailtime. Soon enough, he'll be free on the streets and able to drink and drive again. It's not fair, Matt." He pauses before starting to sob.

"Just let it out, Shiro." I offer.

He sobs for at least 40 minutes before he's calmed down enough to just be sniffling.

"Matt, can you do me two favors? Please don't ever let me drink. I don't want to be like that guy. Also never drink and drive."

"First one I can do. For the second one, did I ever tell you about that time my grandma let me try a sip of wine at Passover dinner? It was the worst drink I've ever had. I am never touching an alcoholic drink again in my life."

Shiro lets out a chuckle. "Thanks, Matt."

"You feeling better?"

"A bit, but not entirely. I'm just scared for the future now."

"Anything I can do to help?"

"Just be there for me."

We spend another hour and a half talking about life before Shiro says he needs to get ready for school. I close my eyes and drift back into a peaceful sleep for an hour.

(5 hours later)

"Wow, Shiro, you look like crap."

"You too. Here, have some Doritios." He then pushes a half eaten bag of Doritos in my direction.

"Can't. I'm busy." I keep staring at my phone and focus on the game in progress.

"Tetris is not as important as basic human necessities."

I try to protest. "But I'm at level 14."

"I haven't seen you blink in at least 10 minutes."

"That's probably because I don't think I have."

"Matthew Eden Holt. Put that phone down and eat before I force feed you." He grabs a chip and tries to bring it close to my mouth.

"Calm down, mom. You don't need to bring my middle name into this." I pause the game and scroll through Tumblr while munching on Doritios. "You happy?"

"Very." He says with a smirk before stealing a Dorito.

"Shiro I'm having an identity crisis."

He glances at my phone. "You're a Ravenclaw. Pottermore said so."

"But this quiz says Hufflepuff. Every other test besides Pottermore said Ravenclaw."

He grabs my phone. "Gimme that." He types in the website for Pottermore. "It says Ravenclaw. Stare at the blueness and the Eagle for a few and eat your Doritos."

"Thanks."

"Feel better?" He asks. Best dude in the entire world is sitting right next to me.

"Much. Thanks."

(5 hours later)

"Matt! The bus!" Katie and Shiro scream. None of us want to wait for the next bus to come in this weather.

"I got this." Keith declares before sprinting to catch up to it so we can get on. The rest of us follow behind him.

"Thanks Keith" We all hop on the bus and Keith and Katie go sit in the chaos zone with the other tiny gremlins of the school.

"You feeling better, Matt? You seemed a bit out of it in calc."

I try to explain what happened. "Yeah. I was low on energy. I had a snack in bio."

"You wolfed down your lunch in bio." He corrects me.

"10 am lunch. Plus the blood drive is in 2 weeks. I need to make sure I weigh enough to be able to donate this time."

"True. You sure that you'll be okay donating? You were a bit…loopy after you donated last year." Shiro's voice is full of concern. He seems to be in a good mood. I need to tell him.

"Yeah. I'll be fine." That sounded so obvious that there is something bugging me. Shiro gives me a quizzical glance. "I'm fine." I repeat. We then sit in silence for a few blocks.

"Takashi? Can we talk?" I ask.

"Yeah. What's bugging you? Don't try to say everything's fine. All of your tells are showing."

Let's see, there's been fidgeting, I was rambling nonstop in personal finance, I brushed my hair away from my face. I also adjusted my glasses. He's wrong. My voice didn't crack.

"I am not." I interject. My voice just so happens to crack when I say that. "Okay, now they all are. It's just that I have something very important to tell you. I've been meaning to tell you for some time, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid it'll change the way you see me and that you'll hate me and that I'll be all alone again."

"Matt…" He puts a hand on my shoulder and looks me directly in the eyes. "Nothing will change how I feel about you."

"Well, if you say so I guess I'll go for it. I'm just going to come out and say that I'm asexual. I'm attracted to no genders." I shift so I can avoid contact and prepare to hop off the bus if this doesn't go well.

"Wait, you think I'd hate you for being asexual? That took a lot of bravery to tell me and that doesn't change how I see you." He looks at me with kind eyes and gives a supportive smile.

I give him a smile back "Thanks so much. You're my best friend."

"You're my best friend too." He quickly looks at his phone. "Let's get off the bus. Our stop was two blocks ago. Katie and Keith already got off."

"Crap."

"C'mon. Let's go. We've got time cards to fill out."

We get off the bus and walk together in comfortable silence.

"Hey Shiro? I got my sexuality test back in July. I aced it."

He lets out an exasperated sigh. "Are puns about your sexuality going to be a frequent thing?"

"Yep." I smirk.

He mutters "Pantastic."

"Nice one, buddy."

 **Author's Note: That chapter was longer than normal. Please don't leave any harsh reviews. This chapter brought up a lot of memories of some of my first times coming out to my friends and I'm just emotionally drained right now. I'm also a very fragile person. Aphobia was getting me down earlier, so I thought maybe ace Matt having a good coming out would help. Sorry about the lack of Broganes. Next chapter or the one after will start having more. I promise.**


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